In order to bring value to others in a quest to influence, it's important to first understand what the other person finds to be valuable. Among the self-made Super Rich, we find that they often engage in a process to discern value that features several key components (see Exhibit 3).

Their starting point of this process is making the other person the center of attention. One of the best ways we know to do that successfully is through the use of skilled discovery---that is, asking insightful questions and following up so you can, in essence, open the window into the worlds of other people.

​For example, a good opening discovery question may be: "Why don't you tell me about your dental practice (or family or self)?" What's more, there are a plethora of questions that enable you to get greater insights. When an important piece of information is shared with you, it becomes easy (and very natural) to ask, "Can you tell me more about that?" and encourage the other person to go into much more detail. It's questions such as these that can start the discovery process moving and keep it going so you end up really knowing what the person values and what they may need that aligns with those values.​

Note: There are several benefits to indirect forms of help, such as introducing a person to someone who can help them (if you're unable to). One of the most important is that it demonstrates that you are a "connector" with valuable relationship capital.
​When you mitigate or eliminate other people's obstacles, you create a situation in which they want to be helpful to you. Moreover, you have your informal agreement of what they will now do for you. At that point, you have influence.

A few tips about discovery:

As you can probably see, influence is both explicit and open using this approach. You should come right out and say it if you can bring value to the other person involved. There's no need for hinting or subtlety. It should be an explicit informal agreement.

​Once you are armed with accurate knowledge of what the other person is seeking to accomplish as well as the obstacles in their path, you can look to add value. Depending on the situation, you might:

Once you've experienced this process of adding value and getting value in return, don't let it become a "one and done" moment. Instead, look for ways to be habitually generous.

Regularly giving your time, energy, advice and support helps you build and strengthen relationships in a wide variety of ways. This makes intuitive sense, of course, but we often hesitate to be generous because we fear our already limited time will be sucked away from us if we put ourselves out there for others too much.

​But adding value doesn't have to mean grand gestures that take lots of time. For example, consider offering daily "five-minute favors"---things you can do every day to help people that take just a few minutes. Some examples include:

This is all easy stuff that won't eat away at your day. More important, when you act generously toward others, the law of reciprocity kicks in. Doing just one five-minute favor every day gets you into a pattern that may eventually lead to your having around you a community of people you can influence to benefit your dental practice and your life---and who are ready and eager to help you reach your goals.

​For driven dental entrepreneurs, habitually adding value to the lives of your patients, staff, and colleagues can set you apart from the competition and create a loyal community that supports your success. By genuinely seeking to help others, you build influence that can help you achieve your professional and personal goals while making a positive impact on those around you.